


touch

by CapnWinghead



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Touch-Starved, side Rose/Jannah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26150386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnWinghead/pseuds/CapnWinghead
Summary: Poe Dameron thrived on touch. The strangest part? Finn didn't seem to mind.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 14
Kudos: 128





	touch

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still very, very new to writing this pairing. I hope you all enjoy the story! 
> 
> Title inspired by Daughter's "Touch".

Poe Dameron thrived on touch.

Where others were content to stand a proper three feet apart, keeping their hands to themselves, their space mercifully respected, Poe had no such compunction. He preferred to stand nearly on top of Finn whenever he was near. His hands found his way to Finn’s shoulders, his arms, even his face when Poe felt the need to make a vital point. No one had ever touched Finn nearly as much as Poe Dameron.

The strangest part about it? Finn didn’t mind.  
  
Now, Poe sat on a table in the mess hall, hands firmly planted on Finn’s shoulders. Mid-story, grinning down at Finn, his eyes alit. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, bathing his golden skin in a warm glow. The sight often left Finn wordless in response. Often times, just being near Poe sent a thrill through Finn’s blood, feeling as though he was freefalling through the sky again.  
  
Being with Poe had always made him feel that way.   
  
His eyes caught on Poe’s mouth, taking in the way full lips curled into a roguish grin. They looked soft to the touch, save maybe a light scratch from the shadow that had grown in around his chin. Poe only shaved if he was going undercover. During his more enthusiastic hugs, his face would press into Finn’s neck, his scruff grazing lightly over the sensitive skin there. The feeling always left Finn overwarm, feeling the scratch for hours, sometimes days, afterwards.  
  
“You’re in, right?” Poe asked, a flash of uncertainty in his eyes. It was a rare sight. Poe rarely seemed unsure, even during their last recon mission when a slip in Huttese translated to “I’m pregnant”, not “I have credits”.  
  
Finn didn’t have a clue what Poe was asking, still lost in how heavy and warm Poe’s hands felt on his shoulders. Poe always touched Finn like he wanted to make sure he felt it. The few times Finn touched others, it was always light, almost like an apology.  
  
“What do you want?” he asked, licking his lips.

Poe traced the motion, his brow furrowed briefly. His hands tightened reflexively. “The hike? Jessika’s going stir crazy and I know you haven’t got a chance to explore this planet yet. I figured it’d be a nice break. Make a day of it?” His eyes were bright with hope.  
  
Finn cocked his head to the side, gentling his tone. “Are you sure? You want to leave everyone alone? We’re the generals.”

“Connix has it covered for a day. They’ll be fine,” he said reassuringly, flashing one of those smiles that always made Finn feel like the answer to every question was “yes”.

Even now, he felt himself nodding. Poe’s smile widened, his hands tightening with excitement. “We’re taking our comms.”

“Of course,” Poe said appeasingly, an amused glint in his eye.

“I mean it, Poe.”

They weren’t having another disaster like when they’d been on Sesid. When Poe had wanted to go swimming near the falls and conveniently forgot his radio. Finn had to hotwire an old A-Wing to warn him of an upcoming tsunami. It had been a day filled with panic and dealing with the unfortunate response his body had to having a soaking wet, naked Poe Dameron squished into a cockpit with him. He’d smelled of berries and saltwater.

“Of course, General,” Poe replied, his voice husky and teasing.

Finn pointedly ignored it as he left the mess for a meeting.

* * *

  
  
Rey rarely touched people at all.  
  
Like Finn, she’d been raised in a place where the touches she encountered were more likely to be threats than anything meant for comfort. She hugged Finn when she was particularly thrilled and playfully knocked her shoulder into his when she teased him occasionally. They hardly ever trained together, but even then, they used bo staffs and there was minimal contact.  
  
Rey’s touches were far and few between, but they made Finn feel solid and settled. Here.

Rose touched people quite a bit.

She enjoyed hugs and pet people on the shoulder to offer praise or support. She was good at comforting touches especially; they seemed to come natural to her. She was genuinely good with people – something Finn greatly admired. Even Jannah and Rey appreciated her touches in support. After their kiss, she’d been hesitant about touching him for a while. Once they moved past that awkwardness, she returned to friendly touches.

Rose’s touch made Finn feel warm and loved. Even in friendship, she made Finn feel seen.

Jessika Pava was more Poe’s friend than Finn’s.

She was all rough touches and punches to the shoulder. Forceful and abrasive, vibrant and loud. She never seemed to struggle with being looked over and her skill was widely known on base. She liked fast X-Wings, Corellian whiskey and senseless bets. Finn had gotten dragged along on trips to hidden pubs and quickly learned that Pava showed affection with graceless touches.

Pava’s touches were rough, but friendly. It was the camaraderie Finn had only had once with Slip and Nines. It was familiar. Safe.

Others touched Finn from time to time. He’d had to get used to it when he accepted that he’d become a part of the Rebellion. He’d never leave here willingly, so he’d had to get used to how normal people showed affection – which meant touch.

It hadn’t taken long for him to realize that no one else’s touch left Finn wordless, overwarm, his heart beating fast like a hummingbird in his chest. That feeling was reserved for Poe and Poe alone. 

* * *

  
  
Poe’s hands were rough, calloused and worn.

About as large as Finn’s where they wrapped around them securely as he pulled Finn after him through the trees. He was guiding them, speaking out loud to the group, but Finn felt like the gentle asides were meant just for him. Poe’s voice washed over him like a warm light. With every excited note in Poe’s speech, his hand tightened reflexively around Finn’s, punctuating his words. It was a quirk Finn knew well and had come to love over time.

And that knowledge was a sign of just how often Poe Dameron held his hand.

“It’s just up here,” Poe said, slowing.

“That’s what you said two hours ago, Dameron,” Jessika griped, the crunch of leaves beneath her boots.

Large, leafy tree limbs gave way to an eden of bright greens, reds and blues. Finn’s mouth fell open as he took in all of its splendor, bathed in golden light. Gigantic flowers in vibrant colors, their gigantic petals fluttering in the cool breeze. Their sweet scent wafting through the air as Finn stood in the center of the meadow, in awe of all of it. He’d never seen such a sight! It felt as if all of the color had been stolen from the galaxy to paint the garden before them.

He looked to Poe and found brown eyes watching him, the corner of his mouth quirked. His eyes were unbearably soft and fond, the sight sending a nervous flutter through Finn’s stomach. He tried a smile, relaxing as Poe returned it in seconds.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, squeezing Finn’s hand as he moved ahead, pulling Finn after him.

There was a cliff side, the steep fall making Finn’s insides twist initially. Poe sat down, his feet dangling over the edge. Down below, a waterfall spilled into a coursing river. They’d picked this base for the water resources. Crystal clear blue and fresher than any other spring Finn had ever drunk from. That resource meant close proximity to this safety hazard. He’d have to warn the parents to keep a closer eye on their kids.

Poe tugged at his hand, smiling as Finn sat down beside him. He rested his head on Finn’s shoulder, his voice stern. “You stop that right now.”

Chewing on his lip, Finn fought a smile. “Stop what?”

“Worrying,” Poe replied, his thumb gently tracing Finn’s. “You’re supposed to get out of your head for a bit.”

“I am,” he tried, laughing as Poe playfully bit at the cap of his shoulder. “I am, I am. I swear.”

Poe quieted, watching the water for a moment, his breathing deep and even. When he spoke, his words were soft. “You forget what we’re fighting for when you just keep going from one fight to the next and the next. You forget that there are places like this.” He sat up, drawing Finn’s gaze, his eyes hard. “The Order can’t take this away. This is just for us.”

Throat tight, Finn nodded, his fingers carefully slipping between Poe’s. He returned to the water, watching flower petals float along the water, two by two, a few in threes; none of them alone.

Poe squeezed his hand, murmuring, “You gotta take the time, Finn.”

* * *

“Too big,” Pyreete said in her clipped manner of speaking. In the short time Finn had known her, he’d never seen her smile.

“He’ll grow into it,” Poe said, coming to stand in front of Finn, mercifully blocking out his reflection. At Finn’s pointed frown, Poe narrowed his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“We can’t afford this,” Finn said lowly, eying Pyreete discreetly. She was digging through a few swatches of fabric and ignoring them.

“Don’t worry about that. We’re going undercover and you need to look the part. No one’s going to buy you as a man of means if you’re wearing ratty old gear and dusty boots.”

He straightened, brow furrowed as he reached out. His hands land on Finn’s side, smoothing down the sleek lines of the suit jacket. Finn fought to keep still, even as he felt that familiar nervous quelling in his stomach. His cheek warmed, watching as Poe’s gaze scanned over the suit appreciatively, nodding to himself.

“You look great,” he rasped. The praise and the touch made Finn’s heart turn over in his chest. Poe met his gaze, raising a brow as he laughed. “I wish I cleaned up this well.”

His hands briefly tightened on Finn’s body, fingers spreading out. Lashes fluttered over his cheeks as he touched Finn’s chest, the heat of his touch spreading through Finn’s body like a brushfire. His eyes cut to Finn’s widening before he took a step back clearing his throat. Poe’s right hand slid over his hip before he took another step back.

He turned to Pyreete. “How much do I owe you?”

  
  


Finn lay in bed that night trying to quiet his mind. His body was very much awake.

Strung tight like a band, his mind reeling. He could still feel Poe’s hands burning into him like a brand. As if he’d find handprints seared into his skin.

Staring up at the dark ceiling, Finn’s hand made its way underneath his waistband. The nights on his planet were sweltering and he usually only slept in shorts. Poe slept naked. Finn had learned that the hard way one night when he went to Poe’s quarters to show him a meteor shower. Poe hadn’t been the slightest bit embarrassed; he never was. He’d simply tugged on a pair of pants and followed behind Finn, paying no attention to how flustered and tongue-tied Finn was afterwards.

Groaning, Finn palmed his length, remembering the sight of Poe’s bare skin that night, bathed in moonlight. Golden brown, speckled with freckles and scars. His abs had tensed as he moved and Finn’s eyes had caught on the trail of dark hair lining his lower stomach. Drawing a path Finn was helpless to follow, eying Poe’s cock where it hung soft and thick against his thigh. At the time, Finn’s body had flooded with heat as he forced himself to turn and give Poe privacy.

Now, he let himself dwell on the sight of it as he wrapped a hand tight around his length. Breath catching on the first stroke, merciful and giving way to the heat burning him up from the inside out. Tendrils of pleasure twisting up his spine as he set an easy rhythm. Even soft Poe’s cock had been long, a thickness Finn imagined would feel nice and heavy on his tongue. He wondered what Poe would taste like, if he’d get wet easily the way Finn always seemed to. Poe was so responsive, not inclined to stifle his annoyed huffs in frustration of helpless sighs of happiness, like he was incapable of not telling the world how he felt at any given moment.

Finn imagined Poe would be loud.

If Finn ever got up the courage to ask, if he ever got the chance to touch him, to take him into his mouth – he imagined Poe would be thankful and so tactile, the way he was all the time. His hands-on Finn’s face, his chin, guiding him. His voice husky and warm, directing him. Finn had never touched anyone before, Poe would have to teach him.

A soft whine escaped, his cock pulsing hard in his hand as it dribbled over his fist. He was close, his mind reeling with images of Poe spread out on his bed, his suit crumbled at his feet. The weight of his cock, heavy on Finn’s tongue, the taste of him clouding his senses. Finn could almost feel it, could almost taste it, his hand twisting as his cock swelled in his hand.

Poe’s hands, gentle on his face until Poe drew closer to the edge. He’d be rougher then, holding tight as he pushed into Finn’s mouth needfully. Desperate with it, his voice husky and deep, his words meant only for Finn. His voice in Finn’s ear, his scent in Finn’s nose, his taste, his hands searing into Finn’s skin.

Finn came with a. muffled cry, turning his head as he bit down on his pillow. His stomach tensing with every pulse of his cock, painting his stomach and chest in thick, white spurts. Panting, his heart beat fast in his chest as he worked himself through it.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Poe considered himself an excellent scout.

He knew how to traverse nearly any terrain, knew all of the healthy flora and fauna, knew several languages and was even passable in Huttese. That didn’t mean he knew what paths were safe to cross.

Jannah, Rey, Rose, Finn and Poe were crossing through Itala when they came to a bridge. They’d been following a map older than all of them, but it had been passed down by Han Solo. They didn’t even know when it had been made, only that Han won it gambling with an older fellow decades ago. And the map had been old then.

Poe refused to let the others cross first, moving past them with his head held high. Finn wasn’t willing to let Poe’s ego get him killed and followed shortly after. Poe insisted it didn’t’ make sense for him to cross _with_ Poe. If it was risky for one person, it didn’t make sense for two. Even so, he was still arguing with Finn when Finn started to cross.

“Finn, you -- Finn!” Poe sputtered after him, his mouth twisted in displeasure.

Finn paid him no mind, focused on the rickety planks of wood making up the bridge. He distracted himself thinking about the people that had made this bridge. If they were still here, if they’d been chased out. There weren’t many places in the galaxy untouched by the war. He didn’t remember anything from his training about this place.

He wondered the likelihood that he’d ever come across his own home planet. If he’d recognize it, if he might’ve already visited without knowing. Lost in thought, his boot hit dirt. He’d crossed to the other side.

Rey and Rose cheered with Jannah looking on in high spirits. Poe simply grumbled at him, steeling himself. He started to cross, his face thunderous. Finn knew he was in for a lecture when Poe finally reached him. He felt that familiar twinge of discomfort in his chest; he hated fighting with Poe.

A few feet away, Poe started in on him. “Stupid, senseless and dangerous,” he spat, his eyes narrowed, mouth twisted in annoyance. “I don’t care if you’re mad at me. I’m just trying to protect you.” His boot shuffled forward and the wood fell out from underneath him.

The vines holding the bridge together snapped, coming apart one by one followed by a loud crack as the aged wood splintered.

Finn shouted, his heart in his throat as he shot forward, “Poe!”

Their fingers brushed as Poe fell to the left, grabbing onto the remaining vines as the right side of the bridge sank down into the cavern below. Finn stretched as far as he could, reaching for Poe with one arm as he held onto the stone post with the other. Panic set in before his fingers finally managed to close around Poe’s hand. Poe looked to him, his eyes bright and alarmed, but never afraid. Poe was never afraid. Finn held on tight, shifting his weight to get a better grip on the stone post.

“I’m going to pull you up, okay?”

“I’m too heavy,” he panted, his fingers held tight in Finn’s grip.

“Shut up. I’m going to pull you up!”

He leaned back, eyes clenched shut, muscles straining in his arm. He pulled as hard as he could, beads of sweat falling down his temples. It wasn’t Poe’s weight, it was the angle. He couldn’t get enough traction to hold on to the post and pull at the same time. Not with Poe still holding onto the bridge.

“You have to let go,” he bit out, eyes opening.

Poe’s eyes widened and he cursed quietly. His gaze slid down to the cavern below before returning to Finn.

“I’ve got you,” Finn breathed, holding Poe’s gaze solidly. “Trust me.”

Poe studied him for a long moment before letting out a slow breath, his grip tightened around Finn’s hand before he released the bridge. Finn slid forward in seconds, his boots scraping along the ground before he wrapped his arm tighter around the stone post. He pulled Poe up slowly, his muscles tearing apart beneath his skin. It took everything he had, every ounce of strength and sheer will after that, thighs burning as he hauled Poe over the edge.

Poe landed on top of him with a huff. His weight sank into Finn, a comfort considering how close Poe had come to going over the edge. Over something as silly as an ancient bridge. Cursing, a breathless smile spread across Poe’s face as he gazed down at Finn, a curl falling into his eyes.

“Let’s never do that again,” he joked.

Finn shook his head, still reeling from nearly losing Poe on a backwoods planet no one had ever even heard of. It was too early to joke about.

His hands rose, tenderly cupping Poe’s face. Gazing up at Poe quietly, he watched as Poe’s breath caught, eyes softening as his smile fell away, settling into something gentler. Long lashes fluttered over his cheeks as he averted his gaze, grasping Finn’s wrists.

“Yeah okay,” he whispered, chewing on the corner of his lip.

They sat there for a second, Finn’s heart taking its sweet time to slow to a reasonable pace. With every moment, with every pass of Poe’s thumb over the inside of the wrists, the easier he found it to breathe.

That night, the group camped around a fire in the forest.

Rey laid curled up on her side, her head resting on her pack. Rose and Jannah laid curled up together, whispering quietly to each other in the night. Poe laid a few feet away, fast asleep, his face buried in his bundled-up jacket. Finn curled up on his side, watching the firelight flicker across his face.

Poe Dameron was a beautiful man.

Finn had always known that. It wasn’t just the symmetry of his face, the square jaw, the long lashes and the deep-set eyes. People stared at Poe everywhere he went, constantly fawning over him. They appreciated his appearance, but they didn’t know that Poe was beautiful inside and out.

They didn’t know that he was stupidly brave, to the extent that Finn avoided taking risks purely because Poe would likely take bigger ones to save his life. They didn’t know that Poe was unbelievably loyal to anyone and everyone that had ever paid him a kindness. They didn’t know that Poe’s best friend was a small BB unit that had a habit of "accidently" rolling over the toes of people they didn’t like. They didn’t know that Poe put his faith in people above all else. They didn’t know that Poe wore his mother’s ring on a chain around his neck. They didn’t know that Poe had dreamed about being a pilot since he’d been a small boy wanting to follow his mother into the stars.

The average person didn’t know that Poe’s hands were made to comfort and to hold.

Turning over, Finn studied his own hands. Calloused around the thumbs from sabres and an incident with a welding torch. A small scar on his left index finger from a close call with a blaster. These hands had been trained to take lives, and now these hands saved lives.

Finn liked it a lot better that way.

* * *

  
  
“You connect this wire to this here and that stabilizes it,” Poe recited confidently.

Finn hid a smile behind his hand, watching studiously as Poe continued. It hadn’t meant to be a lecture; Finn had only dropped by to fetch Poe for lunch. Still, he was happy to listen. Poe was most excited when he was nerding out about his X-Wing.

“And it should take care of that weird stuttering noise.” He wrenched something out of the pits of the engine, grimacing as he emerged. There was a dash of oil on his forehead that Finn was itching to wipe off, but Poe hadn’t sat still long enough. Poe climbed down the steps, his mouth twisted.

His eyes caught on something in the hangar that sparked his ire. “Hey! Ivan!”

A man in a brown jumpsuit startled, turning as Poe barreled towards him. “What the hell is this?” He thrust the object at the man. As it came into view, Finn saw it was some sort of tool. “You leave this stuff in the wiring and you could kill somebody!”

Ivan’s eyes widened before he fired right back. “You don’t run things down here anymore, General. You’re too busy sitting on your arse handing out orders.”

Finn covered his face. “What?” Poe bit out.

“You’re here so rarely these days, I’d forgotten what you look like. Worry about your own shit for a change.” Poe shook his head, grumbling as he turned around. Ivan muttered, “Maybe if we all looked like the Order’s turncoat, he’d pay more attention to us.”

Poe made to turn around when Finn touched his shoulder gently. Poe’s gaze cut to him, eyes flashing. Finn shook his head, stroking his shoulder a few times. After some time, Poe calmed, letting out a few slow breaths, his mouth twisted in displeasure.

“That guy, I swear, Finn,” he began.

“I know, but you have bigger things to worry about.” He tried for a smile. “No time to worry over what some nerfherder has to say. Now can we go to lunch? I’m starving.”

The corner of Poe’s mouth turned up as he nodded. Finn steered him through the doors, putting Ivan’s words out of his head. Some people might never stop seeing his past – there was nothing he could do about that.

Finn’s hands had been taught to handle blasters and sabres, but they could also calm.

* * *

  
  
When Rose and Jannah revealed their relationship, Finn had been surprised and more than happy for them. When they announced their wedding shortly after, he’d been shocked.

He shouldn’t have been. Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed.

Finn put on the nicest clothes he owned (translation: fewest holes and not covered in dust). When he knocked on Poe’s door, Poe appeared in disarray, his pants unbuttoned, shirt half on, haphazard curls falling into his face. Laughing, Finn slid inside and closed the door.

“I take it you’re not quite ready?”

“You know me so well,” Poe said with a fond smile that made Finn’s heart turned over in his chest. Poe fastened his pants. “I got caught up with Fiora in the med bay and then there was a literal fire down in the kitchens and I just… lost track of time,” he trailed off, eyes lidded as Finn moved forward to help.

Finn felt strangely content.

He remembered his first days on base when he’d been so worried about appearances and what others thought of him. His history with the Order was well known and, while Leia and Poe could not have been more welcoming, he knew that not everyone would be so. There were a few, like Ivan, that were hard-pressed to welcome him into the fold. Some feared Finn was some sort of spy and Poe was blind to it because he was soft on him.

It had taken a few years to win most of them over and, in that time, Finn learned that things were different here. He wouldn’t be punished severely or ousted for being late to something or not having the answers to everything on the spot. The Resistance was a family and they didn’t abandon their own.

So, while he’d wanted to be on time tonight, he wasn’t that put out about being a few minutes late.

Finn’s fingers brushed against Poe’s chest as he buttoned up his shirt, drawing a slight shiver. Poe lifted his chin, an apologetic look on his face as Finn buttoned his top button. Finn’s hands spread out across his chest of their own accord, affection swelling beneath his ribcage as he held Poe’s gaze. Poe’s eyes were dark, his chest softly rising and falling beneath Finn’s hands.

“Finn” Poe murmured, studying him quietly. There was a strange light in his eyes, one Finn had only seen a few times before. He’d always been too afraid to glean the meaning behind it.

He shook himself a bit, patting Poe’s chest softly. “We should go.”

“Yeah,” Poe rasped, scanning Finn’s face. He almost seemed disappointed as he stepped back. “After you.”

  
  


The ceremony was beautiful.

The droids illuminated the night sky with celestial projections as music played and the newlyweds danced beneath the stars. Rose closed her eyes, resting her head on Jannah’s chest, curling into her as Jannah held her close. A hand rested on Rose’s lower back, the other held tight in Rose’s as they swayed. Hands that were taught to kill spreading love and affection.

Finn watched from his table, eyes caught on the gentle way Rose held Jannah in her arms. Jannah had grown up in the Order, the same way Finn had. She’d been taught that her only purpose was the be a soldier, to die for the cause. She’d been raised to believe she would never have any kind of love, let alone the all-encompassing love Rose gave her. She’d overcome all of that. It was astounding to think about all the circumstances that had led her here.

He watched as Rose lifted her head, smiling as Jannah touched her face. Their lips met in a soft kiss, Jannah’s hand impossibly delicate where it rested on Rose’s back. They were beautiful together, Finn noted with a tightness in his chest.

He drained the last of his wine and stood up from the table. It was still early; he might be able to slip out without anyone noticing.

He left the garden, slipping through the doors to the base. He’d just entered when a voice called out. “Finn? Hey, you okay?”

Poe was sitting on a table in the empty mess hall, moonlight streaming in through the windows. He had a bottle of wine in his hand, flashing a sheepish smile at Finn’s disapproval. “Figured they wouldn’t miss it.”

Finn hummed, climbing on the table to sit beside him. He’d thought he wanted to be alone, but upon seeing Poe, there was nowhere else he’d rather be. “What are you doing in here?”

“Celebrating, in my own way,” he explained, taking a long sip of wine. He passed the bottle to Finn. “I’m happy for them. Honestly, I am,” he trailed off.

“But?”

Poe shrugged, staring out at the darkened hallway just outside the door. “Part of me thinks I’ll never have that. This is my life. The Resistance is my life. I never thought I’d find someone who feels that the same way I do.” He touched the chain around his neck, the corner of his mouth quirking as he looked to Finn. “Selfish, right?”

“Totally,” Finn said, staring at the wine bottle. “I feel the same way,” he admitted.

“Really?”

“I used to think, everything I was taught, there was no way I’d be able to,” he cut himself off with a shake of the head. “But Jannah proved me wrong. It’s just me that’s screwed up.”

“Finn,” Poe began and Finn rushed to continue.

“It’s not that I don’t feel things; I do,” he insisted, his voice growing in fervor. “I feel a lot of things and most of that is anger. I’m angry that we’ve lost so much. I’m angry that I don’t know where I come from. I’m angry that I don’t know if I had parents that love me or if they gave me up willingly. I’m angry that I feel like so much has been taken from me and I keep finding these gaps in me – all these things I can’t do.”

When he looked up, Poe was studying him quietly, his eyes soft with understanding. He reached out, taking the bottle and setting it down on the table. Then he took Finn’s hand.

“You’re not screwed up. Trust me, if anyone knows that, it’s me,” he said with a smile. “You can do anything you want to. Maybe it’ll take you a bit more time or maybe it’ll look a bit different for you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do them.”

He sounded so sure and that alone drew a laugh, Finn’s throat tight, his eyes warm. Poe squeezed his hand in reply. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” Finn asked.

Poe shook his head, offering a sheepish shrug. “I kinda figure it’s about Rose.”

“Not exactly,” Finn replied. “I’m happy for her. For Jannah. For both of them. I’m happy they’ve found each other.”

“Me too.”

“I just worry that I’ll miss out on the big things because I can’t just,” he gestured helplessly, his breath hitching. “I just can’t,” he struggled to find the words, growing more frustrated.

A tear rolled down his cheek and Poe’s brow furrowed in concern. He faced Finn head on, touching his face. “Hey, Finn? Hey, look at me.” Worried brown eyes held Finn’s as tears rolled down his cheeks. “What is it?”

“I’m not like you,” he replied. “All I have to do is look at you and I know everything you’re feeling.”

Poe offered a sad smile, “I doubt that, buddy.”

Finn shook his head. “I can’t just tell people how I feel or let myself be open the way you are.”

“It’s no party, trust me,” Poe said softly. His thumbs wiped at Finn’s cheeks as he moved in closer.

Finn’s voice grew rough, holding Poe’s gaze. “I just feel like I’m always going to be one step behind everyone else.”

“That’s okay. I’ll just slow down,” Poe said and Finn’s eyes widened. “Are we talking about the same thing here?”

Finn bit his lip, nodding once.

“Thought so,” Poe added with a soft smile. “Then you should know, I like you just the way you are. Gaps and all.”

Finn’s heart beat fast in his chest, his breath catching as Poe leaned in closer. He smelled of wine and chocolate, his hands warm and strong, all-encompassing as his thumb traced over Finn’s cheek. It fell to Finn’s lip, tracing the edge as Finn released it from his teeth. Finn swallowed nervously, watching as Poe neared.

Their lips met in a soft, barely there touch. Finn’s eyes fell closed, feeling Poe smile into their kiss.

Bathed in moonlight, safe and warm in the cradle of Poe’s hands.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Not much changed.

If anything, Finn was more surprised by how normal everything felt. Before, Finn and Poe spent most of their time together anyway. Working together in meetings, eating the mess hall, watching holovids together. They usually came as a pair anyway, so it took a while for other to learn about their changing relationship. Everyone was supportive for the most part.

It was Finn that needed time to adjust.

It was difficult for him to accept that touching was okay now. That when Poe laughed at something and looked to Finn with that radiant smile and that joyful light in his eye, it was okay for Finn to touch his shoulder. That when Poe was half awake and babbling incoherently about engines in the morning, it was okay to kiss his temple. That when he was worried or tired or overcome by that slow spreading warmth he’d come to associate with happiness, it was okay to take Poe’s hand.

It was a learning curve and there was still that fear in the back of Finn’s mind that he might push it too far.

Now, they were lying on Poe’s bed, almost bafflingly. One moment Finn was saying goodbye outside Poe’s door and the next, he found himself spread out on Poe’s bed, his hand sliding underneath Finn’s shirt.

Calloused fingers spread out across his bare stomach drawing a light shudder as he took Poe’s tongue eagerly. Heat coiled in his center, his lips tingling as he followed Poe’s lead. A hand cupped the nape of his neck, keeping him close as Poe’s fingers brushed over a hardened nipple and drew a gasp. Poe’s tongue touched his lightly before his teeth grazed over Finn’s bottom lip sending a thrill through Finn’s blood.

Finn was hard, his cock swelling in his pants. He started to pull away when Poe sucked on his bottom lip, nipping at it again. Finn’s hips snapped forward, the friction drawing a whine that left his face burning in embarrassment.

He pulled back, pushing at Poe’s shoulders. Poe went easily, eyes opening dazedly as he studied Finn in concern. He moved away just far enough that he wasn’t touching Finn, but he was still close. It was rather considerate and Finn’s chest swelled with that annoying fondness that had been invading more and more lately.

“You okay?”

Finn nodded, sitting up and covering his face. “I’m fine. You’re fine.” At Poe’s silence, he signed. “Honest, it’s just me. It’s always me.”

“Okay if I touch you?” he asked quietly. Finn nodded, feeling Poe’s hand wrap around his wrist. He pulled Finn’s hand away from his face, soft brown eyes coming into view. “We talked about this. Everyone has different limits and that’s okay. I’m sorry if I moved too fast.”

Finn twined their fingers together, studying their hands. “It wasn’t that.”

Sometimes, Finn thought they never needed words between them. Poe studied him for a moment before he murmured, “It wasn’t too fast.”

Finn looked to him, stomach twisting as he shook his head. “We were just kissing and I,” he cut himself off, face burning. Poe squeezed his hand with a sweet smile. “What?”

“Finn, that’s good.”

His fingers pushed into Finn’s palm, tracing lightly over the sensitive inside of his wrist. Shivering, Finn waited with bated breath as Poe’s hand traced patterns along the inside of his forearm, sliding over to rest on Finn’s chest. His eyes cut to Finn’s dark as he gently pushed Finn to lie on his back on the bed.

“It’s really good.”

Finn laid there, watching as Poe’s fingers spread out. His breath hitched as Poe’s fingers brushed over his nipple again, sending tendrils of pleasure through his body. Poe circled it, watching Finn’s face intently as he arched. Poe’s hand spread out on his chest, sliding down to the hem of Finn’s shirt when his brow rose in question. The air felt thicker, Finn’s heart ticking up in his chest. He nodded.

Poe complied, tossing the shirt aside absently. Calloused fingers traced patterns, shapes, words into Finn’s skin like brands, sending a brushfire through his blood. Tracing the trail of dark hair leading into Finn’s waistband, teasing there for a moment just to make Finn shiver. A spark in Poe’s eyes as he tugged at Finn’s waistband in question. Biting his lip, Finn nodded, stomach tensing as Poe unzipped his pants.

Finn was still half hard, his cock thickening as Poe’s fingers closed around his length. Poe stroked him gently, his breath catching as a pearl of precome welled up at the slit. His thumb traced over the head, spreading the wetness as pleasure coursed through Finn’s blood, his spine melting into the bed. Arching, he pushed into Poe’s hand helplessly, biting down a keen.

Poe’s breathing was heavy, his eyes caught on Finn’s as he rasped, “Don’t do that. Wanna hear you.”

With a twist of his wrist, he drew a low groan from Finn’s throat. Followed up with hitching breaths as Poe pumped him from base to tip smoothly, mouth falling open as he took Finn apart. He took up a steady rhythm, pressing wet kisses to the inside of Finn’s thigh, his breath warm and wet. Shivering, Finn fought to keep his eyes open as he nipped and sucked, leaving a line of marks along his thigh, his hand working ardently.

Poe held his gaze as he guided the swollen head of Finn’s cock towards his mouth, lapping his tongue over the slit. Finn’s stomach tensed, his cock pulsing almost painfully as Poe grinned, wrapping his mouth around the head with a hard suck. Finn’s eyes fell shut with a needy groan, his legs spreading of their own accord. Poe took more of him inside, his thumb sliding over small bites along Finn’s thigh as he sucked him down.

With a shuddering moan, Finn pushed into the wet heat of his mouth, his balls drawing tight as he neared the edge. Poe pulled off with a soft pop, his voice rough as he murmured, “I love you like this.” His tongue slid up the underside, lips closing around the length in a line of kisses as he whispered, “So wet for me. Always so good for me, Finn.”

The praise made Finn shudder with pleasure, his cock pulsing hard as Poe’s hand quickened. Finn was burning up from the inside out, his stomach tensing with every pull of Poe’s hand. His rhythm was relentless, unwavering, reliable. Finn fell into it; he trusted it. Just knowing that Poe would take him through it; that he’d take care of him.

Finn’s orgasm hit like a shot to the gut, pleasure spiking as his cock pulsed hard and spilled over Poe’s fist. Poe worked him through it, murmuring softly to Finn and pressing kisses to his temple. Shuddering, Finn leaned into his touch as Poe wrung him dry. Panting, boneless and spent.

His eyes opened dazedly, finding Poe watching him. “Beautiful,” he murmured, gentling his strokes as he pressed a kiss to Finn’s shoulder. 

* * *

  
  
Poe slept like the dead.

Spread out, encompassing anything and everything in his path. Sheets ended up strewn across the bed, helpless tangled and somehow caught around Finn’s waist and left ankle. At some point, Poe had treated him like part of the bed, locking him in place with an arm around his waist and a leg across Finn’s, his breath warm on Finn’s neck.

It brought a smile to Finn’s face that morning. He turned his head to find Poe snoring quietly. There were shadows under his eyes, his face lined with worry lines and laugh lines in equal measure. There was a scar from a bar fight hidden near his hairline. There was a small constellation of moles behind his right ear. Finn knew this face almost as well as he knew his own.

Poe’s hand was resting on Finn’s chest, fingers twisted into his shirt. Finn twined their fingers together, kissing the inside of his palm. That familiar warmth returned, his chest tight with understanding.

Finn might just be in love with Poe Dameron.

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of things:  
> \- I liked the idea of Rose/Jannah mostly because the actresses had such great chemistry in the press interviews they did together.  
> \- It was hard to find a planet with a beach in the Star Wars universe that wasn't canonically destroyed, so sorry for that and the planets I made up completely. 
> 
> Drop me a line and let me know what you thought!


End file.
